Marriage in Islam - How to choose groom in islam?

Marriage in islam

We have discussed Islamic views on marriage in previous articlesMarriage in Islam is a sacred act that requires a great deal of preparation.  In Islam, parents need to pay special attention to certain things when choosing a groom.  Otherwise, the parents will put their daughters in great danger. let us discuss about How to choose a groom in islam?

Moral of Saeed ibn Musayyab

Saeed ibn al-Musayyab (may Allah be pleased with him) was a great scholar in Madinah.  Tabia, who learned the Qur'an and the Sunnah from many Companions.  The children came up with a marriage proposal.  With Waleed, the son of the then Caliph Abdullah Hibnu Marwan and the future ruler.  The counsel was through an angel.

Some rulers and movement leaders try to establish ties with their opponents.  It is a simple way to protect selfish interests.  At least the opponent's tongue.  It is not known what the caliph meant by establishing a relationship with the greatest scholar in Madinah.  However, Sa'id ibn al-Musayyab (may Allah be pleased with him) rejected the caliph's demand.  He insisted that he would not marry his daughter.  Then another incident took place.  Wadaa himself came to visit his disciple Abdullah.  Sayyid ibn al-Musayyab asked:

How long have you been watching, where have you been ?.  "My wife died. There were things to do with it."  "The death was not reported. We could have attended."  When the disciple got up to go back, the Guru asked, "Then did you get married?" "May Allah bless you! Who will marry this poor man who has only two dirhams?"  "I will do it. How can Abdullahi bin Wada  believe in this! Because this is not the voice of a father who dares to put an ugly, crippled or abusive woman on someone's head.  Will you marry your daughter to me? " Yes. "

Firm voice.  The marriage took place on the same day with the mahr fixing two dirhams (silver coin).  Abdullah ibn Wada 'returned home.

Above all, a happy mind.  But he was worried.  What to do next?  From whom do you borrow?  He says.  I came home after the Maghrib prayers and lit the lamp.  I was fasting.  I started cooking on my own.  Bread and olive oil.  Suddenly there was a knock on the door.  I asked, "Who is Saeed?"

When the door was opened, Guru Nathan Saeed bin Musayyab (ra) was in front!  I thought it was because of a change of opinion about marriage.  "If you had informed me I would have come there."  "No, I'm the one who has to come here now."  "What do you say?"  "You do not want to be alone at night after getting married. Here is your wife."

He opened the door and let his daughter, who was standing behind him, open the door and he went back.

"She was a scholar with deep knowledge of the Holy Qur'an, profound knowledge of the Sunnah, and well aware of her obligations to her husband;  (Tuhfatul Aroos p: 79,80).

Here are some brilliant pictures.  Images that should be on the minds of parents looking for marriage.  She quickly marries her daughter when she finds a suitable groom with the best qualities.  There is no consideration of financial status or other purely material interests.  Here is a practical application of a scripture.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O Ali, three things should not be left behind. One: Prayer, when it is time.

When choosing a groom in islam

Many parents do not take this issue seriously.  When it comes to suitable marriages, they are not willing to give in to selfish desires and their own desires.  It leads to many disasters later on and only then does the eye open.  The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had already awakened the parents to this.

If you come up with a marriage proposal that suits you in terms of character and religious affiliation, marry him.  If you do not do this, there will be destruction and widespread disaster on earth (Turmudi).

Saeed ibn al-Musayyab (may Allah be pleased with him) did not hesitate to reject the son of the caliph when he saw that he was not suitable for his children.  There would have been many material gains through the association with the caliph.  He ignored it.  Ready to suffer the consequences.  The caliph later resorted to various means to corrupt and persecute him.  One cold morning he was hit a hundred times with a whip.  The body was drained of water (Nushathunnalirin p: 155).

Main problem in our community

Hundreds of parents are chasing after money and jobs because the groom's faith, lifestyle or character traits are not considered there, and they may be motivated by the illusion of wealth.  “A happy life requires financial security, but finances alone are not enough to make life comfortable.  Husbands and wives' quarrels, hatreds and outbursts are not uncommon in high-income families "(Marriage - A Study: NBS).

This does not mean that material comforts should be abandoned or ignored, that is, consideration should not be limited to that.  The noble qualities of knowledge, wisdom, piety, good character, sense of morality and ideal purity should be given top priority.

Someone asked Hasan (may Allah be pleased with him): "I have a daughter. Many people were looking for marriage. Who should marry her?" He said: "Whoever fears Allah."  Because he will respect her if he likes her.  If you do not like it, you will not transgress "(Ihya 2:38).

Modern studies confirm this fact.  He has conducted expert studies on various aspects of married life at Stanford University.  Says Terman: "A good portion of those who lead a contented family life are people who are interested in religious matters, who oppose atheism, and who insist that their children be taught religion" (Family Life, p. 79, DC Books).

Is divorcees  higher among atheists?

Howardhill says the number of divorcees is higher among atheists.  He studied 12,000 young couples.  In the light of statistics, he points out that divorce rates are three times higher among religious people (Family Life, p. 79, DC Books).

Parents should not rest assured that their daughter, who was brought up with boundless affection, ended her obligation by tying her up to some miscreant.  Their lives are often miserable.  The husband, who drinks and plays with what he gets, then looks after his wife's jewelry and possessions.

When it is finished, it is in the possession of the family and relatives.  When nothing is received, the minds of the wife and children are filled with quarrels and beatings and work inside.  Eyes wide open!  Needless to say, the feeling on the outside gets on the inside.  How pathetic it would be if our parents could not read the mind of a wife who had to have sex with her husband who was trying to have sex with his own daughter under the influence of alcohol.

This is a time when parents need to be careful when sending their daughters away.  It is not very difficult for a man to separate and establish a relationship.  That is not the case for women.  Separating the relationship itself is difficult.  Especially when it comes to motherhood.  Remarriage, on the other hand, is the most difficult.  If her husband is bad, then she will have to live on fire for the rest of her life.  On the other hand, if the husband is religious and chaste, he can stay calm.  Where is the satisfaction in married life if there is no environment in which to share the joys and sorrows, to exchange loving behavior?

What Imam Ghassali says about marriage

Imam Ghassali (may Allah be pleased with him) reminded the parents of this fact.  He says: "It is imperative for parents to understand the character and surroundings of the bridegroom.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, "Marriage is a kind of slavery, so let everyone think about where to give his daughter."

"It is very important to consider the woman carefully, because she is bound by marriage, and she is not free from it. A man can divorce her at any time, so he should not marry his daughter to an aggressor, a pervert, a new thinker, or an alcoholic.  Through election "(Ihya 2:38).

According to the Islamic view, marriage in Islam is a very important subject.  When girls reach adulthood (when they are of marriageable age) they need parents to find a suitable groom.  Otherwise very big problems are likely to occur in family life.

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